Belated Merry Christmas and Belated Happy New Year! *peace*

At last! My very first blog entry for the year 2010. Time to get this blog rolling!

Let me start with that new year’s resolution. Nope, hindi kasama sa resolution ko ang sipagin na sa pag-bablog. (Sorry mahal kong blog pero mukhang mangangayayat ka na naman sa kakulangan ng entries… =( )  Of course, sa abot ng aking makakaya ay mag-iiwan pa rin ako ng ilang kurokuro ko, but I’m not yet determined enough to make it a habit.

Mula noong kamakalawa ay nagdesisyon akong gawing isang libangan ang pagbabasa ng libro. Nalulungkot kasi ako nang kamakailan lang ay tinanong ako ng isang malapit na kaibigan kung anong libro na ang binabasa ko nung mga panahong iyon. Isang mahaba at nakabibinging katahimikan lamang ang aking naisagot. At noon ko narealize na ilang buwan na mula noon nang huli akong humawak ng libro upang namnamin at pagmunian.

Aha moment. Marami akong libro kung tutuusin. Kakapadagdag ko nga lang ng shelf para paglagakan ng aking book collection, pero ilan nga ba doon ang nabasa at natapos ko na? Kalahati. Sige na nga, higit pa sa kalahati ng kabuuang bilang ng mga libro ko ang aking nabasa–isang malungkot na katotohanan.

Book hoarder ako kung maituturing. Hindi man kalakihan ang aking kwarto pero tiyak na mamangha ka naman sa dami ng librong nakalagak dito. Mula noong elementary (mga encyclopedia at general knowledge books), high school at college (mga nobelang pangbook report at ilang text books) hanggang sa mga inspirational at business books na naipon ko ngayong nagtatrabaho na ako, lahat wala akong tinatapon. Kumpleto din ako sa atlas at diksyunaryo (thesaurus, english, filipino, french, spelling-grammar usage). Mayroong mga compilation ng  mga tula, maiikling sanaysay at kwento, isama na rin ang  kung ilang recipe books at “how-to” books. Kulang na lang ay i-catalog ko ang mga libro ko, pero hindi pa sila ganun karami para kailanganin noon. With my OC-ness naka-arrange sila according to subject and according to height (Ayaw ko kasi na salisaliwa sila sa shelf).  Tulad nga ng nabangggit ko, kamakailan ay nagdagdag ako ng shelf para sa mga nobela at short story books dahil wala na talaga akong paglagyan sa kanila kundi sa sahig. At ang target ko ay mabasa ang lahat ng nakalagay sa bago kong shelf sa loob ng buong taon, kasabay na rin ng hindi ko pagbili ng panibagong libro hanggang mabasa ko ang huling pahina sa huling libro ng aking koleksyon.

Nakapagsilmula na ako sa pagbabagong buhay kong ito at sinimulan at natapos ko na ang unang libro para sa taong ito– Twisted 81/2 ni Jessica Zafra.  Sinusundan ko na ngayon ito ng isa pang naunang Twisted.

Hmmm… (napaisip)

Ngayon ko lang naisip na pwede ko palang gawan ng book review ang bawat librong mababasa ko para naman may lamanin naman ang blog ko for 2010. Oo nga naman! (Another Aha moment)

Sige, sige. Isisingit ko na rin sa resolution ko ang magsulat ng review para na rin masimulan ko na ang pundasyon ng dati kong idea na gumawa ng critic blog (ang plano ko talaga ay gumawa ng food blog). At least sisimulan ko nang hasain ang sarili sa paglalathala ng opinyon.

I think I’m going to have intersting year with my hope to revive my reading and writing life on the line. There’s only one way to find out if my resolution has become a success or not. That is to see what I shall be writing on this blog on January 2011!=)

On patheticness

There are just some people who think that those who are “too concerned” about the typhoon rage are just merely over-reacting. *sigh* I pity them. At least those “too-concerned” people are human enough to feel, and not lax to not care at all.

In these times of tribulation, we need to take all possible precaution to be safe, lest to keep living. Those people who are just SELFISH to do nothing but to complain about the pettiest things around their comfortable lives, and see the anxiousness of others as just a mere over-reacting stint, should just keep their mouth shut. We don’t need complacent people specially now that lives were lost, homes were destroyed, and hopes vanished.

Such losers.

If by over-reacting we can better prepare ourselves and be saved, then let’s all over-react people!

Ondoy’s day

I’m down to my notebook’s last 69% of battery life. It’s black out all over Metro Manila. Floods are everywhere. Even though the area where our house in at is just in the nick of luck (we are right in the middle of flooded barrios with water height averaging from the knee up to the chest), at the height of the storm, flood waters only up to the ankle reached our kitchen.

It was supposed to be a typical event day for us, a wedding reception on a Saturday. I woke at 4am and I jumped at work right ahead. The first batch of my staff going to the venue at Mt. Carmel, QC left the house at 6am. I was scheduled to leave with the food and the rest of my staff at around 9:30, and as scheduled we head off to the wedding. We were unsuspected of what Ondoy’s pitch for the day was really about.

Going to the venue we first felt the day’s gravity when it took us a complete hour just to get out Pasig. We were supposed to take C5 but after seeing the long line of vehicles at the Bagong Ilog fly over, we decided to take Pasig Blvd instead. As my driver would put it, Ortigas – Greenhills was supposed to be the easiest way to reach Broadway, but as we trek along San Juan, in my mind it was really nothing but easy. It took us 2.5 hours get out of the traffic and the heavy floods. My poor driver had to brave himself everytime he pushed the van to get through gushing waters.

We arrived at the reception almost 45mins late. (The wedding was also delayed since the groom arrived 30mins late. Even the groom’s father was stuck on traffic and missed his fave son’s wedding) The program already started and even though I was drenched from dashing through the parking lot and I so looked like hell, I never bothered. I just wanted the food to be ready for the hungry guests and the worried newly-weds so I was almost on top of my voice as I gave instructions to my staff. Only about half arrived of the 240 expected guests. They were able to eat at exactly 1pm.

I thought the worst was over.

My captain waiter went to me and said if he could borrow my phone. He needed to call home since his wife and his two daughters, still toddlers, were battling through knee-deep waters already inside their house—which is by the way just a few blocks from ours. Another staff reported that his wife had been calling him up to tell that his in-laws’ house was flooded through the roof. One after another, almost all of my staff conveyed that floods reached the inside of their houses. I called up mom, worried since my staff and I are at the very same community. True enough I caught up with mom trying to dry up the water inside the house all by herself.

The worst wasn’t over yet.

Right after the wedding reception, I was able to talk to my clients. It was a consolation that the couple was still happy (inlove, *sigh*) even though things were not as good as they planned. Guests were stuck at the reception, all entry points at the Broadway-Cubao area was flooded. The priest in charge of the parish had to announce that we had to clear off the reception area since they were going to use it to evacuate the community around the church.

I was crushed seeing the kids and babies soaked in rain water. Their innocence was the only thing that’s keeping them from distress. I saw mothers crying and fathers trying to keep their families safe. It was such an unbearable sight.

The only thing we could do to help was to offer the Parish a big pot of left over soup and another pot of rice since our client already brought with them most of the leftovers.

Right after we packed our equipment, my staff and I hurried home. We were all anxious to get to our own families. The only relief that we had was that we were able to reach Pasig in just a few minutes since the streets were already cleared of traffic. The almost 4-hour travel to the reception went down to 20 minutes. Along our way we saw people crossing though chest deep floods. Only the roofs of lineup vehicles were the visible signs that flood waters washed out some street.

We reached our house. My mom and dad (who got home later in the afternoon) were able to put out all the flood waters in our house. My brother was stranded in some hotel lobby in Manila, while my Aunt had quite an adventure herself since she had a myriad of things she did just to get home from Cavite.

My mom told me that some of our relatives and friends are now in trouble. Our relatives in Cainta whom we gave our beloved Potch (our fave dog) and Inipit (one of our kitties) to had to evacuate their house, and until now we don’t have the strength to ask them how the pets were since we know that they lock them in cages. =.( Although of course we are relieved already that nothing bad happed to my ninang, pinsan and inaanak. (They told us that the thing that they were only to save was a bottle of milk for Igi Boy)

I’m now down to the last 15% of my battery and this ought to shut any minute.

I hope for the better. I hope everybody’s safe.

I hope.

(September 27, 2am)

Almost wasted

I want to tell my side of the story… The drunken friend’s point of view.

It was my friend’s birthday celebration. We were in some one-bedroom suite around the metro. And since it was supposed to be the typical celebration, the usual were present — friends, food, the cake, and of course the free-flowing booze.

Add to the lineup the nostalgic sets of boybands, OPM, and headbanging while passing around the magic sing.

The night went along. Everybody had their turn around the tequila shots which was by the way, the first time that me and my friends tried together since we had our mid-age drinking sprees. (Disclaimer: The only thing I could associate a  tequila to was the famed bodyshots seen on TV. Never tasted it, and didn’t even know the proper drinking sequence–salt-shot-lemon, but then thanks to my friends, I’m no-more-a-virgin to THE tequila.)

I started drinking at around 11pm at the request of a friend to not be too wasted until he arrives. So I started on equal footing with him… I had my first shot when he handed me the very first tequila shot that night. And boy! I didn’t imagine it to be that kickass strong. I am a fast drinker so my tendency is to always get drunk ahead of my drinking peers. But with tequila, I would wish– and I think, I consciously saw to it,  to have longer intervals in between each shot.

Someone’s passing along the shots and every time the shot was on me, I would check the number of used lemon slices on the tray just to see that everybody around had their turn already. As shots progressed, I became less hesitant, until I became the most willing drinker of the bunch. That’s when it dawned on me. I was, point blank, drunk.

Much later, everybody decided to gather on the other room to do some tarot reading. but me and my other friend, didn’t even notice that we were the only ones left singing and drinking.

I remembered my last shot being a full shotglass of tequila. I leaned my head against the couch and I was out.

I could only remember pigments of the full 5.5 hours of being totally wasted.

Pigment # 1: I threw up big time. And my friend assisted me to the couch.

Pigment # 2:  We both lied on the sofa (me and my friend). He held me around his arms, I guess because the sofa was too small, I might fall on the floor. I clung to him as tight as I could.

Pigment # 3: Quite a shocker. I searched for his face. and I think I kissed him on the lips several times.

Pigment # 4: Another shocker. I think I mumbled that I love him in between each kiss.

Other pigments were a little too vaque as to its sequence. One friend mentioned that I sobbed and cried my self to sleep on the sofa. As to why I cried, I really don’t know.

The morning after, I woke up still on the sofa, a huge headache and upset tummy greeted me. I transfered to the other room so I can lie and rest better. I found my spot on the comforter laid on the floor. I think after a few hours, when everybody was already awake, me and my friend  were the only ones left on the other room. He was on the bed, while I was I still on the floor. I woke up feeling cold, only to discover that I slept right beside the aircon. Shivering, I thought I could transfer to the bed. (At this point I was still a little bit wasted to mind the drama that happened) I think he was kinda awake when I transferred and I offered him a share of the comforter. He refused. And so I turn my back and slept.

I got the strength to pull myself together at around 10am, my friends were watching the Emmy’s. Overtaken by the huge headache and the sheer confusion of what transpired on the sofa. I greeted them as if nothing happened. Why so? because back then I was not even sure if the incident was real or not.

A few awards later. They decided to call it a party. At around 11:30am, they left and my friend didn’t even mention anything. Only a wave of goodbye before he closed the door, leaving me behind all the traces of the drinking spree and a lot of thinking.

Now, I think the kiss was real, but sadly I don’t think he kissed me back.

I think I did said that I love him, but sadly he didn’t answered back.

Oh well, he never even texted me after. Likewise, I don’t have the courage to talk to him, to ask him what happened, to probably even ask for some proper apologies.

In my mind I’m thinking I’ll just let him think that since I was dead drunk, I wasn’t able to remember anything…

Tunay na Ligaya

Dahil siya LAMANG ang totoong mahal ko.

Kanta ko para sa kanya…

TUNAY NA LIGAYA

(Ryan Cayabyab)

‘Di ko pansin ang kislap ng bituin
‘Pag kapiling ka, sinta
Kahit liwanag ng buwan sa gabi
‘Di ko na masisita
Iisa lang ang naghaharing tala sa mundo
Tanging ikaw ang liwanag sa buhay ko…

‘Di ko pansin ang bango ng Jasmin
‘Pag kapiling ka, sinta
Kahit ga-dagat ang dami ng rosas hindi matataranta
Iisa lang ang nagtataglay ng halimuyak
At ikaw nga, tanging ikaw, sinta

Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya
Tanging ikaw, sinta
Umaga, hapon kahit magdamag
Laging ikaw, sinta
Hindi magsasawa sa piling mo
(Hooh…)

‘Di ko pansin ang bawat sandali
‘Pag kapiling ka, sinta
Bagyo’t ulan, kidlat o kulog man
‘Di ko napapansin, sinta
Iisa lamang ang hinihiling kong kasagutan
Ang ngayon at kailanma’y makapiling ka

(Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya)
(Tanging ikaw, sinta)
Tanging ikaw…
(Umaga, hapon, kahit magdamag)
(Laging ikaw, sinta)
Hindi magsasawa sa piling mo
(Ikaw ang tunay na ligaya)
(Tanging ikaw, sinta)
Tanging ikaw…
(Umaga, hapon, kahit magdamag)
(Laging ikaw, sinta)
Hindi magsasawa sa piling mo…

WARNING FOR SOON-TO-BE-WEDS!!!

I was in an event yesterday. I have never been insulted in my life the way this pretending-to-be-great coordinator did.

For me an event coordinator, particularly for weddings, has a responsibility not only to their clients, but to the suppliers as well.

This coordinator shouted at me, humiliated me infront of my staff. And when I was trying to explain, she rolled her eyes and left while I was still talking. THE POINT IS, WHAT THEY WERE GRUNCHING ABOUT WAS SUCH A PETTY EXCUSE FOR THEIR BEING INCOMPETENT>

Eh napakasimple ng problema mo, kung dumating ka ng maaga, SOOOBRANG dali lang ng solusyon. Kahit staff ko kayang-kayang solusyunan yang napakaliit sa reklamo mo. Wala kang ginawa kundi magreklamo. Daig mo pa yung nagpakasal. Sana pinantayan mo lang ng kaunti yung kabaitan nila, pero hindi. You chose to be BASTOS. Ginawa mong perya yung wedding, shouting while others just listened to you in disbelief.

“AND YOU EVEN CALL YOUR SELF A PROFESSIONAL… ANG KAPAL KAPAL KAPAL NG MUKHA MO!”

Even your client told me that they got your services that mura ang service mo. That explains.

Sa website mo sabi mo may radyo kayo, asan?

And your incompetent coordinators even asked me for basic instructions that they should know being your coordinating staff.

Walang ginawa ang coordinators mo kundi magcheck ng checklist. Kakatawa.

Pumunta mga tao mo, may guest na! JUSME! Sa amin mo binaling ang dapat mong ginawa. Ang galing-galing mo talaga.

Dumating ang bride and groom, ako ang naging welcome party. Wala man lang sumalubong o mag-alok man lang ng inumin sa uhaw-gutom-at-super-stressed-out na couple. kawawa naman sila.

Dahil sa ginawa mo. I’ve learned a lot.

Kahit napiga nang husto ang patience ko sa iyo, hindi ko pinatulan ang lebel mo. Dahil hindi ko event yun. Hindi ako ang bida. Hindi tulad ng ginawa mo na puro pa-star lang.

Pero dahil blog ko to, ako ang reyna. Malas mo lang. Pero hindi ko ibubulgar ang pangalan mo dito. Pero kung may makabasa nito at hingin ang kasagutan kung sino ka, hindi ako mangingiming balaan sila. Kaya folks na magpapakasal, o may kilalang magpapakasal, mag-comment lang kayo, iwan niyo email add niyo at ibibigay ko ang pangalan ng bastos na coordinator na to.

Kahit siya na lang ang coordinator sa buong mundo, I WILL NEVER WORK WITH THIS COORDINATOR EVER AGAIN!

On defense

Gawd.

It’s been a while since I wrote my last post.

I back read a few of the kurokuro entries– most of them makes me feel a bit uncomfortable because I was all carefree/less of what I was writing. I just made my self sound/read stupid, weak, vulnerable, undecisive, poor, pathetic, ugly and lowself-esteemed freak. *sigh*

But then, at the back of it all, I find a little consolation thinking that I let my self feel the human in me. It was a quite a strange relief that I can be this real facing my inner recesses. I realized that our nature–being humans, make us think the most random and logical, the most dangerous and safe, the most kind and untamed thoughts all at the same time.

I was thinking of deleting them–the crazy entries, for the fear of having people (who know me and would eventually discover this blog) know that this is ME–that this is what I was thinking, feeling, wanting or hating all along. I’m more scared to accept that I might sound betraying/crushing people and their trust but then we as humans all have the same tendency– to think and feel (it’s just that I choose to write my random thoughts and emotions), and finally our nature also tells us to choose how to act and react. And most of the time I CHOOSE to be generically likeable. Sadly.

Not to sound defensive of my former posts, bahala na sila pano nila tatanggapin ang mga mababasa nila kung mabasa nga nila. To put things on a nicer light, I always TRY to mean others well. Well, that is to the best of my ability. If they will feel otherwise, probably they missed the point or maybe I lack the doing, but still I technically tried no matter how big or small the effort was.

**I was interrupted while writing, nawala tuloy ang momentum**

Ito na ‘to!

Will be starting working out on Monday.

The original plan is to enrol at Firness First but after careful and thorough consideration, I decided to enrol at another gym. According to my research, this gym offers a very scientific progam, and has complete and well-maintained facilities. I’m actually paranoid about err.. germs..  hehe. Having seen the gym facility of my so-called University back then, I remember not going back after discovering that it was a breeding ground for rust and who-knows-what ( I don’t even want to know!). 

I won’t go into detailing where I would be working out. (baka may nakaenrol din doon na makabasa at mabisto ako! *belat*)

The gym haven’t took my initial health assessment, but I’m already expecting that they’ll rank me as obese after years of keeping my peace with glutonny. I hope to be on a healthy scale before the year ends.

Keeping my fingers crossed!

Love before birth

Psalm 139:13
For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

While watching the Agoncillo Wedding

Got teared up watching Juday and Ryan’s wedding. It has the exact feel that I want for my own wedding. Casual yet very sincere.
22:33 5/17/09

APO singing “Panalangin” for a wedding dance– could anything be more awesome?! *high*
23:30 5/17/09

OMGulay! Mayroon pa kayang natitirang guy na katulad ni Ryan? Where art thou?!
00:25 5/18/09